It was the day I was scheduled to speak at the local Christian high school, and I was late. I forgot all of the handouts and props that I planned to use. My clothes were splattered with grime, and I forgot to switch my sneakers for heels. When I got up front, I realized that my mouth was full of the stickiest gum in the world. It was coating my teeth and tongue, making me gag. I turned my back to the audience so I could get it out, but I couldn’t pull it out no matter how frantically I tried.

That was my dream two nights ago.

It was one of those dreams that *BETTER* just be revealing my worst fears – and not serving as a premonition of terrible things to come. (I mean, it was pretty bad with the gum and all. Yuk.)

So when I woke up this morning to a glorious day, feeling clear-headed and organized, I PRAISED GOD. When I packed the car and realized that I had everything I needed, I was thrilled. When I actually remembered to switch my slippers with my black heels, I practically did a back flip. And during the drive there, I praised God that I could speak clearly! I was on time! And all was well. The terror of my dream opened my heart to gratitude for this awesome opportunity to serve God. It took my mind off of my typical obsessions and fears and focused my eyes on the glorious calling we each have as members of the Body of Christ. What a gift He has given us!

Today’s chapel talk was a wonderful opportunity for me to apply some of the things that God has been teaching me this month.

For example…

TRUST. It was so good for me to trust God. I had to trust Him to redeem past mistakes. I had to trust Him to work through me. I had to trust Him to glorify Himself despite my humble offering.

FOCUS. It was good for me to focus on the people in the audience – and not on myself. My love for them grew as I prayed – weeks ahead of time – in pursuit of compassion and understanding. This shaped my lesson, my delivery, my application, and my generosity. I am so grateful for this insight.

TRUTH. It was good for me to share biblical truths that won’t change over time. I love that I can count on the beauty, endurance, and power of God’s Word to speak in ways I cannot fathom.

Thank you for your prayers, if you prayed them. Thank you for your support and care. All was well. May God alone be glorified and may each of us love Him more because of today.


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When it comes to teaching, my greatest hope is to offer solid biblical teaching and life-changing application so that every person may walk in the light of God’s Word.

Kevin DeYoung just finished up an excellent series about the importance of each person studying the Bible to discover the truth for him/herself. This is my hope for you, me, and everyone else.

How to Be Better Bereans (Part 1 of 3)

How to Be Better Bereans (Part 2 of 3)

How to Be Better Bereans (Part 3 of 3)


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I’ve been preparing for Monday’s chapel talk. The  headmaster asked me to talk about the Scripture that they are memorizing this week: John 8:12 “And Jesus said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.” What a glorious topic! What an enormous topic!

As I sort through my pages of notes hoping to glean 30 minutes of solid, beneficial teaching,  I’m asking four big questions about the students:

1. What do they need to know?

2. Why do they need to know it?

3. What do they need to do?

4. Why do they need to do it?

(Thanks, Andy Stanley for helping me to think more strategically…)

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Song of the Day (Day 23)

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This past Sunday, our whole family sat on the couch, nursing colds and exhaustion. Instead of going to church, we watched Mark Driscoll’s recent sermon about the 3rd Commandment. As always, listen until the very end. Your heart will melt, throb, kneel, and wonder… in reverence for God.

Not related to the 3rd Commandment: One part of his sermon inadvertantly addressed my fear of teaching the Bible.

Driscoll showed a photo of himself several years ago, preaching a sermon series called “Vintage Jesus”. In the photo, he was wearing a T-shirt with the word “JESUS” on it and a screen printing of a man’s face (presumably Jesus). He said that, since that sermon, his conviction about reverencing Jesus has grown so much that he wouldn’t wear that T-shirt today. (And not just because it doesn’t fit him any more.) He humbly explained that Christians are ever-growing, and that God gives us grace so to keep learning.

Driscoll’s example was particularly sweet to me as I prepare a chapel talk for the Christian high school where I originally taught something totally wrong from the Bible. Yup, as I embark on this venture with God, my first opportunity “just happens to be” a return visit to the place where I got spooked about teaching the Bible in the first place.

Eight years ago, I promised myself I would never teach at Chapel again because I felt wrecked for teaching something so blatantly wrong to impressionable students. But, God has poured His grace into my heart and shown me that it’s not the end of the world. What I’ve forgotten is that in the same hour of misspeaking on God’s behalf, I was able to correct the wrong teaching in front of the students and take full responsibility for getting it wrong. I emphasized the truth so that they wouldn’t be confused. They asked some questions and then… they were over it. They probably haven’t thought about it since. But sheesh, it’s taken me a bit longer to shake off. The staff are happy to have me return (and would have been happy to have me back the day after I messed up… they are so gracious).

I believe that this is the door that God has opened for me. So, here I go.

Would you pray for me as I walk in the grace that God gives to each of us?

It’s the grace to learn, to grow, and to move forward victoriously in Christ.

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.” 2 Corinthians 2:14

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I could have kept this journey to myself. Some days, I think I should have kept this journey to myself. After Day 1 of 31, I admitted to Ryan that this endeavor would be far more humiliating than I anticipated. But if I had kept it to myself, I wouldn’t be half as honest. Nor would I work as hard as I’m working.

Making this journey public has the distinct benefits of humility and accountability: both are blessings from God.

What’s more? Simply letting other people know that I’d like to grow, I’ve received such generous advice. I’ve been so blessed by friends who’ve jumped right on board and pushed me along (please, don’t stop now!).

For example, in the past 24 hours…

* Stef recommended that I contact the Christian organizations on campus in our university town. She confided that her college Bible study was always looking for guest speakers and would have loved to have known that there were women in the community who were eager to help. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of this on my own, but I needed Steph to point it out for me.  So, I got right to work and sent some emails out!

* Then, one of Ryan’s co-workers emailed a book suggestion and placed the book on Ryan’s desk that very day. Thanks, Chris!

* Two other friends sent the link to a fabulous article, “Pastors Need Women Teachers (and Vice-Versa)” that answered many of my yet-unspoken fears (Did you think  I actually expressed all of them in a few measly posts?! Not a chance.) Thanks, Jen! And Dan!


As it turns out, people want to see me grow. And I desperately need their help. This is the way it is meant to be.

“For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.”

…from 1 Corinthians 12

I guess what I’m saying is, imagine what might come your way if you just happened to mention that you’d like to grow…


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This isn’t the type of book I read in one sitting. Or even five. This is the type of book that I work through word by word, prayer by prayer. Through it, God is shoring up my heart.

“Have you ever agreed with the whispers of doubt and found yourself living with a sense of discouragement and defeat? Have you felt paralyzed by insecurity, and let it stop you from living confidently? If so, you are not alone.” p. 22

I’ve had an autographed copy sitting on the shelf for two years. I didn’t read it because I didn’t want to face my self-doubt. Strangely, hiding behind certain insecurities felt safe. But when God began beckoning me to grow as a Bible teacher, I had to come face-to-face with my insecurities. (Remember all of those fears I listed? They were steeped in insecurity!) One day in September, Renee Swope’s A Confident Heartpractically jumped off the bookshelf at me. I knew it was time to dig in.

“Those of us who struggle with insecurity and find ourselves in the shadow of doubt often get there because we are seeking our validation in people’s opinions, our worth in accomplishments, and our identity in excessive commitments. It can only go on for so long before something breaks.” p. 52

The message of Renee’s book is based on the daily practice of identifying our insecurities and replacing them with the truth of God’s Word. Not a new approach, just a new and personal application for me.  It’s truly relieving.

“We become secure as we know and rely on His love more and more. It is a moment by moment, day by day experience where we process our thoughts, emotions, and decisions with God, positioning our hearts to let His perspective redefine ours.” p. 62

Renee thoroughly addresses the common self-doubts of “I’m not good enough,” “I’m such a failure,” “I don’t have anything special to offer”, “I can’t stop worrying,” and “I can’t follow God consistently.” I am basking in the scriptures that she highlights… God is so good at soothing the frail Christian soul. At the back of the book, Renee includes a list of 31 Doubts-Replaced-By-God’s-Truth (my title, not hers). These are like gold to me because I do shut down when I feel weak, embarrassed, or inadequate. I desperately need the relief of God’s Word for my heart and mind.

It just so happens that A Confident Heart is the Proverbs 31 Ministries’ book study right now. They just started and would be delighted for you to join in, too!

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Amy Carroll shared an acronym with me to describe the process of growing as a speaker:  she said, “you’ve gotta live in the PIT”. That stands for Putting In the Time. I get that. If I want to gain experience, develop key lessons, improve as a speaker, and learn more about people, I’m going to have to work hard and make myself available to teach. Plain and simple.

I’ve been working on my check-list and did lots of contacting this week. For accountability’s sake, I’m reporting in.

* I contacted our pastor, youth pastor, and college pastor offering to speak at upcoming events. I told them that I am hoping to become a better Bible teacher this year and would appreciate the opportunity to teach, if it would be helpful to them. They each thanked me for the offer, saying that this year’s schedules were already full, but that they’d keep me in mind. (Note to self: send a reminder email at the beginning of the summer when most youth pastors and college pastors are beginning to plan for the upcoming school year.)

* I contacted the local Christian School and offered to speak at a chapel. They took me up on the offer right away! In fact, I’m scheduled to speak on October 28th. They even said they could record the session for me, which may end up being my first audio sample! (I’ll have to let you in on my plans as I assemble the lesson…)

* I contacted the local MOPS group and offer to speak at a meeting. The coordinator was so sweet in her reply and seemed grateful for my offer. Again, their docket is full for this year, but she’ll keep me in mind for the future.

* I contacted Sherilyn – a wonderful local speaker – and she enthusiastically agreed to meet next week! I’m compiling my list of questions…

* AND, I made some inquiries into that Certificate in Women’s Counseling that I may have earned 5 years ago. Someone is looking into it for me. :)



I’m just happy that my self-doubts and insecurities didn’t keep me from clicking “SEND”.

It’s a start.

Do you have any other ideas about people or organizations I could contact to gain more experience ?

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Viv (Our sweet little Viv, all those years ago…)

I’m going to seminary! Well, not really. But kind of…

I sent a brief email to my pastor, letting him know what I’m up to, and asking him for suggestions about how I might grow as a Bible teacher.

His reply was so supportive and sincere. He suggested that I take advantage of some wonderful (and free!) online seminary courses – like Covenant Seminary  and Reformed Theological Seminary. He told me to look for courses in Biblical interpretation (hermeneutics), systematic theology, Biblical theology, and preaching / teaching (homiletics).

And now, 10 minutes later, I’m registered for seminary! (I didn’t even have to write an essay about my greatest regrets, my global hero, or what makes me special.) I’m hoping that these non-credit courses will enrich me, one lesson at a time. There are approximately one million amazing courses to choose from, but I’ve finally selected one course from each seminary.

Here’s my plan.


From my desktop (while folding laundry, doing my make-up, in the morning before the kiddos wake up, etc.):  I decided to begin with a course called “God & His Word”, taught by Dr. Michael Williams at Covenant. It covers: “the doctrine of Scripture, including inspiration, inerrancy, and the principles of biblical interpretation; study of the person, works, and attributes of God.” That ought-a keep me busy for a while!


From my iPhone (while cooking, cleaning, running about, etc.): iTunes University was surprisingly easy to install on my phone. RTS has very clear directions on their site. Once the program is on your phone, you can browse the available courses and add them to your library. Then, you can put your phone in your back pocket and go to class wherever you are! I’ll listen to a course about the Gospels.

I am so grateful that other teachers have made their lessons available to all of us. What a gift from God.



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This is an inaccurate portrayal of me reading Andy Stanley and Lane Jones’ Communicating for a Change.

It would be much more realistic if I had a furrowed brow, a broken heart, and was hunched over the book with a pen in one hand, frantically underlining every word. I’d have a journal by my side as I copy the book verbatim and scrawl backflipping thoughts with excessive amounts of stars and exclamation marks. Oh, and let’s not forget the tears. Lots of them. Yes… I think that would be a truer picture of how I look when I’m reading this book.

Amy Carroll recommended it on a Saturday. Amazon shipped it to me by Tuesday. I swallowed it whole by Thursday. And now I’m starting over again.

I can cross this off my to-do list (yay!), but in the meantime, God is using it to turn me inside-out.

The biggest shaker-upper for me: I haven’t cared enough about the people listening to me.

Until now, my greatest motivation for teaching has been that I “feel God’s pleasure” when I teach. (You know, like Eric Liddell felt about running?) I love teaching because I feel full of the Holy Spirit. He fills me up, gives me ideas, and seems to work through my teaching. It’s awesome! Underneath all selfish or prideful motivations, I teach because I love Jesus… and I love when He works through me. I truly believe that anyone could do anything as long as God’s Spirit is bubbling up within her. For me, the bubbling-over happens when I teach.

But these days, God is opening my eyes and heart to moreI can feel Him beckoning me to a new reason to surrender my life to Him: “I serve God because I love Him… and I love the people He created.”

I hate to admit it, but when it comes to preparing a Bible lesson, I don’t often think about the listener’s struggles. I don’t often yearn for her life to change. In fact, I rarely expect the audience to gain anything useful from my lesson besides stimulating information and an admiration for God.

I’m usually content that they are sitting in their chairs, listening to me. I rarely daydream about what they might do with the information once they leave the building. I’ve been content that people simply hear the Word of God, while God Himself is extremely passionate that people do His Word. To make matters worse, I’ve never recognized this major hole in my teaching. Hence the broken heart.

“If you think about it, your delivery, your style, your humor, your conclusions, your timing is all about… you guessed it… you. At some point we’ve got to begin caring more for the people in the audience than the person on the platform. When we do, our presentations take on real significance. Until we do, communication is really all about us.” p. 92

So I have begun asking God to change my heart. I’ve been begging Jesus to give me His love and insight about people.  Before I teach another person, may I receive the gift of caring deeply about her life. 

“And Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39

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